I just returned from my COS (Close of Service) conference: a sign that my time in Moldova is also through, which fills me with a mixture of happiness and excitement as well as sadness.
Acutally, I feel like I’ve been a Debby Downer lately. I think it is partly because I’m questioning my value here, and I’m wondering if how I want to help is actually the help my partners want. For example, I’ve been working on developing English resources for two years. And this year, I’ve organized a room to keep all the new resources I’ve gathered and made as a place where the English teachers can continue to share things since they don’t collaborate much. But when I talked to my partners, they are talking about divvying up all the materials, those defeating my collaboration idea. I guess a part of me knew this was the reality all along, but it still upsetting hearing that my goal with the room won’t be fulfilled.
When I realized my goal is not the same as my partner, I began to think about why I was here and why I joined Peace Corps. My primary reason was because I want spread God’s Word though my actions. I’ve always felt the most powerful way to show God’s Love is by leading a loving life yourself by spreading love and peace to others. So I’ve always wanted to show my love by helping those in need. And being a young, single woman, why not help those in need around the world.
Although I joined PC this spread peace and love, I never imagined the enormous effect it would have on me. Peace Corps has tested me in ways I could have never imagined. And with each test, I think I come out a little better of a person. With all the ways PC has helped me become a better person, I can’t help but wonder who is Peace Corps really helping: the host country or the Peace Corps volunteers?
Acutally, I feel like I’ve been a Debby Downer lately. I think it is partly because I’m questioning my value here, and I’m wondering if how I want to help is actually the help my partners want. For example, I’ve been working on developing English resources for two years. And this year, I’ve organized a room to keep all the new resources I’ve gathered and made as a place where the English teachers can continue to share things since they don’t collaborate much. But when I talked to my partners, they are talking about divvying up all the materials, those defeating my collaboration idea. I guess a part of me knew this was the reality all along, but it still upsetting hearing that my goal with the room won’t be fulfilled.
When I realized my goal is not the same as my partner, I began to think about why I was here and why I joined Peace Corps. My primary reason was because I want spread God’s Word though my actions. I’ve always felt the most powerful way to show God’s Love is by leading a loving life yourself by spreading love and peace to others. So I’ve always wanted to show my love by helping those in need. And being a young, single woman, why not help those in need around the world.
Although I joined PC this spread peace and love, I never imagined the enormous effect it would have on me. Peace Corps has tested me in ways I could have never imagined. And with each test, I think I come out a little better of a person. With all the ways PC has helped me become a better person, I can’t help but wonder who is Peace Corps really helping: the host country or the Peace Corps volunteers?
