What I've Done So Far

With the end of my service quickly approaching (4 months), I’ve been reflecting on my time here. And sometimes it’s much easier to remember things that weren’t successful rather than what I did accomplish. So I decided to make a list of my accomplishments to put things in better perspective:

• Partner taught grades 5-10, in which I’ve introduced student-centered activities to my partners
• Communication director for GLOW/TOBE (Girls Leading Our World and Teaching Our Boys Excellence), a work initiative that teaches youth gender empowerment and leadership skills
• Taught an adult English class at UNIT, the town’s youth center
• Lead an English club for youth at UNIT
• Tutored English for 10th form students
• Developed an English resource room for partner teachers to keep all English resources we’ve made and collected
• Created numerous resources for English teachers
• Created individualized lessons for beginner students

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

The courage to change the things I can, 

And wisdom to know the difference. 

I’ve always loved that prayer, and it never rang so true until I had this job. Everyday, I have to tell myself “You can’t do everything”, and everyday I try to prove this statement wrong. But I’m must face facts and be okay with not being able to fix everything.

It’s a real challenge picking what I can change and what I can’t. It’s like saying what do I care more about, or picking which problems are fixable as opposed to lost causes. It’s not always an easy decision. And finding the serenity to accept I can’t change certain things is difficult.

When PC first told me about my assignment, they told me that it was very likely I would see corporal punishment in the classrooms. Luckily, I haven’t seen that. But what is seen as acceptable for how people talk to each other is hard for me to handle. It’s acceptable for people to call each other stupid or yell at them to shut up; this goes for teacher-to-students as well as peer-to-peer. Anger is more often expressed. On numerous occasions, I’ve seen students cry and no one does anything about it.

There are also problems with way the education is valued (or not valued). Moreover, all the other problems I’ve mentioned before.

I end up putting a lot of energy into trying to inspire change with certain things without ever seeing a result. It’s very tiring. And although I know I must accept I can’t change everything, sometimes I wonder if it’s okay if I never stop trying to change certain things that may be impossible for me to change.

Yep, I’m Still In Moldova

It’s been 20 months working and living in Moldova, and I feel pretty accustom to daily life here. In fact, that’s why I don’t have as many blog entries anymore. So you would think that most things wouldn’t surprise me much anymore, yet I still get caught off guard with some things.

On Monday, one of my partner teachers told a student to leave the lesson to go make copies since she hadn’t made them yet. This involved the student leaving the school to go to a place that makes copies. The student had to go multiple shops, and the student missed the whole lesson.

And in another class, we were giving a test. I caught a student cheating and marked that he would receive a lower grade because of it, which is something my partner and I have been doing all year. And he just left the classroom. As far as I can tell, he won’t be making up the test either.

And then today, I was talking to another one of my partners about how I could participate more in the lessons. In the classroom with this partner, I’ve been included less and less in the lessons slowly through out the year. At this point, I was pretty much just sitting there doing nothing the whole lesson. So I wanted to come up with a way to help out and participate more, and I suggested that I work with the students struggling with English in small groups or individually. My partner replied that she would love my help and that she hadn’t asked for my help before because she didn’t want to disturb me during the lesson. I guess that why I’m not always involved in the lesson. I don’t think she completely understands my purpose in working with her.

It’s experiences like this that make me miss America and American school systems. I miss valuing education, both from the teachers and students. I miss higher expectations in schools. I miss the expectation for working hard, from all members of the school community. And while America is far from perfect, I’m starting to get excited to get back to working in the familiarity of American schools.

Special Education

Working in a foreign school system is difficult; I think that goes without saying. But one of the hardest things for me to deal with is the lack of recognition of students with special needs. People are different, and everywhere you go, people work differently. Classrooms everywhere are multilevel; you cannot escape that, no matter where you are. And Moldova is no exception. Just like in the States, there are a number of students with special needs. The unfortunate difference is that “special needs” is not as well recognized, and therefore, not accommodated for. Being a teacher who studied and worked in the USA, this is incredibly difficult for me to work with.

The most common need I see is students with AD/HD. So just to give you a quick background on my beliefs on students with AD/HD, I believe that AD/HD is a diagnosis that needs to be recognized and accommodated for. However, I believe that too many parents and teachers are using a diagnostic of AD/HD as a cop-out, thinking they just give their child Ritalin as a “fix” to the problem. Many cases only need teaching rather than treatment. With the right discipline and expectations, the child can learn (without medication) how to deal with AD/HD. However, that is not to say that I think all AD/HD diagnoses can be approached as such. There are many cases where a child needs a little bit more than the right teachings. But in many cases, I think the student just needs the right teacher.

The Moldavan school system does not work in a way that diagnoses students with specials needs. Additionally, the teachers do not receive training on how to work with students with special needs. And there aren’t special education teachers in the schools.

With an understanding of my philosophy and the Moldavan school system, you might be able to understand my personal dilemma. While I have several students who might be diagnosed with AD/HD, there is a student in my 5th form who clearly has AD/HD, possibly extreme enough to need medication (which says a lot coming from me).

Since I value teaching over treatment, I want to provide this student with the right kind of accommodations. But without all his other teachers helping and accommodating, I wonder how effective I can be. Furthermore, there is the need of sustainability from the work I do. So I have this internal battle: do I give him the time and attention he requires and hope my teacher learns from my example (which, so far, has not proven true in other situations, unfortunately), or should I focus on teaching my partners how to work with AD/HD and deny him some of the help he would get if I personally worked with him?

I don’t know the perfect answer to this, which is often the response I have to the dilemmas I have working in a foreign school system. I wish that answers to my problems could be more black and white. It would make this job so much easier. But if that were true, I guess they couldn’t advertise the Peace Corps as “the hardest job you’ll ever love”.

Mission Winter

Well, preparation for the cold weather has really begun. My host mom has spent all weekend and the last couple days bringing the outside plants inside. And if I couldn’t tell from the empty gardens or the lack of potted flowers on the porch, I can’t help but notice every time I run into a potted-tree on my walk to the bathroom.

In addition to walking into a tree on my way to the bathroom now, it is a dreadfully cold walk. I have the luxury of an indoor bathroom, but my host family hasn’t turned on the heat yet. They did provide me with an electric heater I can plug into my room, which has been wonderful. But the rest of the upstairs is as cold as outside. Showers are quite a pain. If the bathroom starts to smell horrific, it will be as if I’m living like a real PC volunteer.

The school of course, has not turned the heat on yet either. So everyone stays in their coats all day during lessons. And the teachers have started to ask the students to bring in packaging tape and cotton, and I’m sure I’ll see them filling all the cracks in the windows over the next couple days.

My favorite thing is coming home to all the chickens loose in the yard. My understanding is they are eating all the remaining vegetables/plants/seeds in the garden before my host dad clears everything out. The best is when the kitten starts chasing them. Well, she tries to; the chickens don’t seem to notice her or care. But she’s so cute as she tries to play with them.

I must say it is kind of nice being here for two years because I get a chance to see things once more. I can finally anticipate some things based on my experience last year. I kind of like saying, “Oh yeah, I remember that last year.” Makes me feel worldly.

Bring It On, Winter!

Well, I guess fall is finally here. And it feels like it came over night. Until today, I had been walking to school with no need for a coat or sweater, and I have been leaving my bedroom window open all day and night. But for the first time this season, it was too cold to leave my window open, even during the day. And when I left for school, I had to pull out my coat and scarf for my walk to school.

The cold air outside is nothing compared to the coldness of my school. Since it’s a large concrete building, the cold nights cause the school to get pretty cold, and the school remains very chilly during the day. Last year, they didn’t turn on the heat until after fall break, which was the first week in November, and we had our lessons in our coats and gloves. It was so hard to keep the students’ attention when we all were so cold. The administration made the lessons shorter because it was too cold to stay for the regular length of the day.

With this cold, I’m bracing myself for winter and all it brings. I’m starting to remember last winter with it getting dark by 4pm and the only form of vegetables to eat are pickled. Yikes. But it’s my last winter, and I plan to finish my service strong. So bring it on, winter!

Teacher's Day

Today, my school celebrated World Teacher’s Day. It is quite a lovely thing to see the students honoring their teachers. Back in the States, we had Teacher Appreciation week, which seemed to be sponsored by the parents and school systems. Here, the students take the initiative to thank their teachers. It’s wonderful to see the students show their teachers they care.

This year, the day began with a little assembly where a group of students thanked all the teachers. They presented each teacher (including me) with a rose and a certificate thanking the teacher for their hard work and dedication. The students even wrote my certificate in English.

The rest of the day had shorter lessons so we could finish the day by noon. During the lessons, the students would come to the teacher to give them gifts and thank them for being their teacher. At the end of the day, all the teachers walked out of the building with their hands full of flowers, kitchenware, and other miscellaneous gifts.

Once the lessons were over, the administration had a small masă for the teachers, where they thanked the teachers for their hard work and dedication. Overall, it was a really touching day honoring the teachers!

Sometimes It’s Hard To Work With Moldovan Priorities

I had mentioned how my school has given the English department a classroom to use, which will also be a place where I can work during and after school. And this past week, the priority of the English teachers was to prepare the room. When I first saw the room, I thought I would be able to have some freedom with setting up the room in a functional way so that resources are stored well and in a logical order. And since I would be the one working in there, I thought I would get to plan the basic set up of the classroom. I was looking forward to having a classroom to arrange and decorate with my partners.

However, things weren’t going as I thought (as with most things here), nor are they going so smoothly. My partners all have their own opinions about how the room should be put together, but many of their ideas collide with one another. And many times, they turn to me to take their side. This is the whole reason why I want my focus this year to be getting my partner teachers to work together. They don’t understand how to work together without just letting one person have her way.

Furthermore, I haven’t been able to express what I want with the room. My goal was for the room to have a library-like set-up: lots of bookshelves with resources and some tables to work at. Plus I was hoping to decorate it with lots of posters teaching English grammar and vocabulary. However, my partners are not showing any interest in my opinion. When they ask my opinion, they just want me to support their idea.

Since this is the English department’s room, not just mine, and my partners will (hopefully) continue to use it once I leave, I am trying to be compromising. But right now, it feels like I’m the only one not getting heard. I was hoping to have a room that reflected all of us. And so far, all the opinions I have expressed haven’t been honored.

Even though the opinions of my partners are clashing, the one thing they all agree upon is that the priority of the classroom right now is beauty. When I first started talking to my partners about what I wanted to do, I was talking about how to have bookshelves for materials, a place for the posters, etc. But they wanted to talk about what color the curtains should be. In fact, as I sit here writing this, one of my partner teachers sent two students to clean the plants.

I’m trying to be understanding since part of the reason they’re working on the appearance is because the director wants to show the room to some officials who are coming tomorrow. But it’s really hard to be understanding when I can’t express my opinion of how to efficiently store resources in the room. I keep telling myself that this is a room for them so I need to let them set up how they would like. But many Moldovans have poor organizational skills, and I was hoping to help with this room organization.

I just have to let it go sometimes. But the room is starting to lose some of its functionality because beauty keeps being prioritized. This makes me wonder what the purpose of this room is; to develop and store resources for the English department or to impress others with a pretty room. Sometimes it is very difficult for me to work with Moldovan priorities, and I often feel like I'm working against them. I am hoping that once tomorrow has passed, I can slowly start to change the room to be more functional while keeping up the beauty Moldovans value.

New Plan for the Year

My job as an English Education volunteer is to work with Moldovan English teachers to help improve their teaching methods and techniques as well as their English skills. Last year, I taught 18 hours class hours per week with four different partner teachers. In addition to the hours in classroom, I spent at least one additional hour per week with each partner planning the weekly lessons. I helped develop new resources for the lessons I taught, and I taught my partners some new activities. My days were long and difficult.

This year, there is another English teacher returning to our school from a 3-year maternity leave (which is a typical length for maternity leave in Moldova), so my other four partners are losing many of their teaching hours. The new teacher, Lilia, has asked to not work with me right this semester, which I can completely understanding since coming back to teaching already requires a lot of figuring things out. I wouldn’t want to make an already difficult time more difficult for her. Once she feels settled in, we might be able to teach together.

With all these changes, it would be difficult for me to do the same kind of routine as last year. So I have come up with a new goal, after talking with my partners: as opposed to a partner teacher, I will work as a resource teacher. I will teach fewer hours and spend more time researching and making materials. I will work with my partners to make these things, but I will be making things for classes that I won’t necessarily be teaching. And instead of spending all my time with my partners planning every minute of every lesson, I hope to spend that time teaching my partners new activities that can apply to all lessons and as well as better ways to teach English. Last year, our planning time together really needed to focus on what exactly we are doing next lesson. So this would be more about teaching my partners rather than teaching with my partners.

I also hope to teach my partners how to work together to make teaching easier. Right now, they each kind of work independently of each other. Each of them makes their own things. And when I would plan with each individual partner, the materials we made for that class were not always things that could be shared easily. So now, if I’m working more as a resource teacher, when I’m making resources with my partners, we will make things to share with the whole English department instead of the individual teacher.

Furthermore, Tatiana told me today that our director has given the English department a classroom to use. This means we can make it into an English resource center, so there is a place to put all the resources I will be making with my partners. It also means I finally have a place to work in the school during my free periods. Last year, I felt like a refugee when I didn’t have a class to teach, having no room to work in. With this new room, I have a place where I can spend my free periods at school to work on resource development.

I’m so excited about this potential idea. I feel like I can do so many more useful things with my partners this way, and I think my partners will like this arrangement better. And I feel like it uses my skills and education better. Plus, I think I will be happier doing this kind of work. Now I just have to get Peace Corps to approve this change. Wish me luck!

First Bell

Today is the first day of school. It’s easy to see on my walk to school; all the students are carrying a variety of flowers that they will give to their teachers throughout the day. Normally, the first day of school is September 1, but it was a Saturday this year. In years past, they sometimes will still make the first day of school be September 1, even if it’s on the weekend. Luckily, we were allowed to start on the Monday.

As I walk to school, I can’t help but be excited. I know that this year will still be difficult, but at least I will be back working with students and in a familiar place. Plus, this is the first time that I'm teaching a curriculum that I had taught the year before. And even though I know I will have so many awkward situations, I’m excited to work with the students once more.

Last year, there were so many awkward situations because I didn’t know what I was doing. My partners often didn’t automatically tell me what was going on, so I had to ask. But many times, I didn’t know what to ask. And this year, it feels like that they assume that I know what is going on since I was here last year. So I have to ask more about what is going on then before. For example, when I got to school, one of my partner teachers told me that my main partner wasn’t going to be here for the first lesson. My main partner hadn’t told me, and I ended up waiting in her room for her during the first lesson before someone told me she wasn’t coming. Oh well. But it’s nice to be back regardless.

The day began with the ceremony to start the new school year. Everyone gathered in the courtyard, which was nicely decorated with balloons and artwork. The ceremony began with welcoming the new fifth form students. The director also welcomed the new and returning teachers. The chairman of the executive branch of Criuleni also spoke about the year beginning. A couple students recited the school rules, and of course, several students perform songs. Three students dedicated flowers to the students, teacher, homeroom teacher, and school. The ceremony ends when two students from the first grade and two students from the last grade (which at this school is 5th and 12th form) walk around the courtyard ringing a bell that represents the first bell of the school year.

The first lesson was with the students’ homeroom teachers, and the lesson is about Ion and Doina Aldea Teodorovici, who are two famous singers in Moldova who died in a car crash in 1992. There was one other lesson after that and a meeting for the teachers. It was actually a pretty short day overall, but it officially means that the school year has begun.

Almost Time For School

Today I went back to school to meet with my partners. I didn’t really do much; my partners were much busier than I, so I mostly just sat there killing time on my computer. Even though I didn’t have much to do, it was nice to be back at school. There is only so much I could think of to do while stuck at my host family’s home. And even though I always feel awkward and out-of-place while trying to work within the Moldovan school system, being at the school is familiar and where I work to make a difference. Here’s the new school year!

Last Bell

Yesterday was the last day of lesson. Normally, on Wednesdays, I have five lessons and one free period. However, students only showed up three of those lessons, and for two of those classes, we watched movies. So it really wasn’t a very productive day.

Only about eight students came to the first lesson, so we played English games the whole time. We watched “Alice in Wonderland” during the second lesson. Only two students came for the third lesson, but then they left for the computer lab to play games. My fourth lesson is free, and no students came at all to the fifth lesson. The sixth lesson had only about half the students show up, but we combined classes with the other sixth form group and watched a movie.

Today we celebrated the end of the school year. The school honored the graduating students as well as the students with exceptional marks. As with all Moldovan assemblies, some students preformed a dance routine and several students sang songs. One of my favorite things that happened during this assembly was the 12 form students invited their parents to dance for one of the songs. And at the end, the 12 form students were given balloons (red, yellow, or blue) and then they all released them together.

The school director also thanked me for my service to the school. She said very kind words about me and called me to the podium. She gave me a gift from the school (a framed painting of flowers) before handing me the microphone and asking me to say something.

Now my Romanian isn’t great, but I know enough to say a nice thank you and talk about enjoying my year here. However, when I’m speaking Romanian, I have to concentrate on what I am saying. And while I was trying to speak, many students came up to me to give me flowers.  I wasn’t able to get out two words without student coming up to me to give me flowers. And so, I ended up having a hard time concentrating on what I wanted to say.

What I was trying to say: I have enjoyed working with you this year. You were very kind and hospitable, and I thank you very much. Have a good summer, and I will see you next year.

What I actually said: You have…oh, thank you…I have…thank you…ah, thank you…I have, pardon…You was very kind. Thank you.

There were probably a few more “thank yous” in there because every time a student gave me flowers, I thanked him/her. Needless to say, I sounded ridiculous.  But I think they understood that I was grateful and happy to be there.

End of the Year

So the end of the school year is here. This is the last week of school. May 31 is the last day of classes. There are state exams for some grades, so those classes with continue to work with teachers to prepare for exams. However, this doesn’t affect me. I am done with lessons on May 31.

The end of the year is crazy; students are slightly apathetic and ready for school to be over, which is not too different than in schools in America. However, the biggest difference I noticed is the teachers don’t attempt to have any kind of lesson. For example, during the past two weeks, in my 10th form, my partner and I haven’t taught or reviewed anything. All we have done is allowed the students to get additional marks by speaking in English. Sometimes my partner will try to have a conversation with a student and give him/her a mark based on that. But most of the time, the students just recite a paragraph in English that they have memorized. Not really an accurate way to measure one’s knowledge of English.

All of my partners have been using lesson time during the last week as a way to get their grades done. They will assign the students a task, such as read the text or answer the questions, and then they will work on averaging the grades while the students “work”. While I don’t have a huge problem with assigning the students work so the teacher can work (mind you, I don’t really like this idea, but there are bigger issues I choose to help improve), my partners don’t hold the students accountable for the task. So basically, it’s just busy work.

Additionally, the students have now turned in their textbooks to their homeroom teachers. And since most of my partners plan by doing activities straight from the textbooks, lessons are pretty empty because my partners aren’t sure what to do without them. I’m trying to plan English activities and games for my students so the time in class is not completely wasted. However, it’s difficult to get time with my partners to plan together because they are so busy with the end of the school year. And since the whole point of PCVs working with partners is to create sustainable differences in the classroom, planning the activities alone seems in vain.

Furthermore, it’s difficult to keep the students’ attention. The students seem to like the activities, but most of them have checked out. They know their teachers aren’t holding them accountable for the information, so they really don’t try much.

In fact, I don’t think much is being done about attendance at this point either. I have noticed attendance is a problem all year around; the students just skip classes when they feel like it very frequently. However, today was a new situation. My first lesson only had about half the students present. And my last lesson today only had 3 students, one of which left after the first 10 minutes of class.

I’d hate to admit this, but I can’t help but wonder why we continue to have lessons if the students aren’t present (whether physically or mentally) and the teachers aren’t using lesson time to teach.

Okay Moldova, I’ll Stay

Today was our first day back to school. And just like in America, it is difficult to go back. But this morning was particularly difficult. During the first period, I teach 10th form with my partner teacher, Valentina. However, she was absent today, and she had called Maria, one of my other partner teachers, and told her to give the students a test.

I hate giving tests. Since there are so many things I'm hoping to inspire to change, I have to prioritize which things to work on first, and test-taking is something I have decided to work on next year. The students talk, use their books, pass notes, use their cell phones, and pretty much any form of cheating you can think of. I’m about ready to pull my hair out when we give tests. But at least I have my partner teachers in the room to help keep some form of order. However, not this time. The students were worse than usual and very disrespectful towards me. At the end of this period, I walked out the classroom feeling beaten. And I experienced, for the first time, a genuine feeling of quitting.

Luckily, Moldova wants me to stay. Whenever I’m feeling low, Moldova knows and reminds me why I’m here. And this occasion was no different. The very next period, I went to co-teach 5th form with Svetlana, which is one of my favorite age groups. Right after the bell rang, Maria asked Svetlana to work with Valentina’s class since she was absent. So I was left to teach alone. It was wonderful. It’s hard to describe how happy this made me. I love teaching so much, and for the first time in seven months I got to work with the students exactly how I wanted. I walked out of the class with a huge smile on my face.

And this wasn’t the end of my successes that day. With another partner, Tatiana, I was introducing foldables (a 3-D graphic organizer) to the 8th form. This class can be chatty and silly, and they have a hard time focusing. But when I was teaching them the new vocabulary words using a foldable, every single one of them was focused and listening to what I was saying, even the student who has a learning disability. This is a rare occasion even in an American classroom.

So somehow, I started my day with feeling pretty much the worse I have felt since I have been here and walked out of that school feeling like I had just won an Olympic event. So thank you, Moldova. You successful made me remove all thoughts of going home early. I will stay, and I will succeed.

Holiday Spirit

So the holiday season is starting to make me miss home. When Thanksgiving rolled around, no one celebrates it here, so there wasn’t a constant reminder that I’m not home for Thanksgiving. So Thanksgiving came and went without causing me too much homesickness. 

But Christmas is a different story. Christmas here is celebrated on Old Christmas, January 7. And so far, it’s not nearly as commercial as it is in USA. I only started seeing Christmas decorations for sell about two weeks ago, and I only started seeing decorations put up last weekend. The nice thing about this is that I wasn’t being reminded that it’s Christmas time since October. But now that the decorations are starting to be displayed, it does make me miss home. However, Moldova once again aims to make me happy. Wednesday was Roman’s 60th birthday, so we had a celebration. We had dinner at the only restaurant in my village with lots of my host family’s friends. We ate, we drank, we talk, we danced. It was a lot of fun. Plus, I got a picture of my host parents. It’s not the picture I was hoping for, but I think it captures them perfectly: Roman causing trouble and Parascovia scolding him. I love this picture of them.

My host family: sitting are my host mom, Parascovia, and my host dad, Roman.  My host brother standing; he lives in Spain and he was visiting for Roman's birthday.

Additionally, there was a school Christmas concert this week. Last weekend, some eighth grade girls asked me to sing with them in school concert. I said that I would, and we sang “Jingle Bell Rock” together on Thursday. The girls were very impressed that I had the words memorized by our second rehearsal, but I reminded them that I have been singing along with this song since I was a child. 

The school concert was various musical performances by the students. Many singers, some dancing, and a pair of students played instruments. Now, I have song in choirs and preformed many times, but I have never felt like a rock star until this performance. When we were introduced, and the MCs mentioned that I would be singing with the students, the school cheered very loudly. Many students pulled out their cameras to record the performance, and the entire audience was clapping the whole time. I don’t know if our performance deserved this praise, but it sure felt nice.

Me with my partner teacher, Svetlana, and the four girls who sang "Jingle Bell Rock" with me. Notice the silly American wearing her coat because she can't handle the Moldovan winter.

And then tonight, my host mom prepared a mini Christmas Eve celebration. She put together a dinner, and it was nice to sit together in honor of Christmas. The cool thing, too, was that the dinner kind of reminded me of traditional Christmas Eve dinner with my family. Christmas this year is not the same by any means, but different is not all bad. I miss my family, friends, and home, but I’m looking forward to learning about Christmas celebration here in Moldova.

My (Extra)Ordinary Day

My alarm goes off at 7:00. I debate pushing the snooze, but I remember I have already pushed it twice so I've slept 20 minutes more than I meant to, and I reluctantly get up. I go to the bathroom, wash my face, and brush my teeth without questioning using the water from the facet. I get dressed and pack my bag. I remember I'm in Moldova, so I shine my shoes, put on my leg warmers, and add an extra layer of clothes before walking out the door.

I walk out of my sleeping house onto a vacant street. It's one of those days where I want to stay snuggled up in bed with my cup of tea and watch old musicals. The sun has been totally blotted out by the abundance of clouds that have completely taken over the sky. The dark clouds seem to be threatening a rain that will not actually come. A flock of crows swarms across the grey sky, and I feel as if I am in a Hitchcock movie.

I make my way to the main street and finally see some sign of life. Men and women, bundled up in puffy coats, scarves, and caps without gloves, are walking in every direction getting ready for the working day. The old men stand together in groups of three or four, and look as if they don't have a care in the world as they watch the world pass them by. The young men huddle together, each with a cigarette in his hand while they listen to music blasting from one of their cell phones. The young women walk independently in every direction with great speed considering the fact they are wearing skin-tight jeans, four-inch heels, and carrying an oversized yet fashionable purse. The babas hobble by in oversized coats with a bright, colorful scarf tied around their heads. They carry the black lei bags full of their day's necessities. Their lifetime of hard work has made these women appear old and frail. But I know very well that not only do these women have great strength, but also they could easily drink me under a table without even trying.

A rutieră stops at the corner and several of my students step off. They flock together as if they were one unit as they hurry off in the direction of the school. A couple of the girls notice me and blush as they greet me with a shy "hello".

As I walk into the school, two lyceum students open the door and greet me with a mumbled "bună dimineața". On my way to the stairs, I pass a mirror hanging on the hall, and I can't help but notice my checks are a rosy pink from the cold, crisp, autumn air. I sigh at the thought that this is only autumn air; I have yet to experience the freezing air of a Moldovan winter morning.

I pass the school's maintenance man on my way upstairs to my first class. Without a change in facial expression, he taps his hat in recognition of me as I say a quiet “bună” before we continue our separate ways. Several students greet me with a quick "hello" as I walk down the hall to my class.

I get to my 10th form classroom, and I begin to prepare for the first lesson. My partner teacher for this lesson informs me that one of the other English teachers is sick today. Since the two classes combined won't fit in one classroom, she is going to work with the other class while I stay with our students. Great, I didn't prepare anything for the grammar part of this lesson because she was going to do that. My preparations for class quickly change to making a plan for teaching the grammar of this lesson.

The bells rings, and the students stand up. I greet the students before allowing them to sit. I ask the students how they are and what they did this weekend. Silence. I remind the students to use simple past tense. Silence. I tell them that I went for a walk this weekend, and I ask if anyone else went for a walk. Silence. The only reaction I get is the students slouching deeper and deeper in their seats trying to avoid eye contact with me while I try to help them form sentences. A boy comes into the classroom late, and the students all the sudden seem alive. He greets me and proceeds his way around the classroom making sure to shake the hand of every male there, no matter how difficult it is to get to him. Sometimes, the little things are the hardest things to work with.

I make it through the lesson and continue my day. I plan with another one of my teachers and introduce several ideas to try in our classroom. She only likes one idea if we change it slightly. Okay, I can compromise if it means I am introducing one new teaching method to the classroom. It’s all about taking baby steps. We finish planning before the bells rings and I leave for my next lesson.

I teach 8th form with yet another partner teacher, and we introduce a new grading rubric that requires more responsibility from the students. We get several groans, but the students seem to understand that they need to complete their homework from now on. I’m slightly upset that we are only now holding the students accountable for completing their homework. But I guess that’s why I’m here for two years; change takes time. And it requires a lot of patience from me.

I survive the rest of the day, despite the fact I feel like a human popsicle. These large concrete buildings can be really cold. As usual, everyone was wearing his or her coat and scarf all day, including me. It makes me wonder if I could stop worrying about dressing so nicely since I just wear my coat all day. But I conclude that this is Moldova; I must dress frumosly.

I start to walk home, and I get a text message. With much anticipation, I check to see who loves me so much that they decided to send me a text. My excitement is quickly replaced with disappointment as I read my message from Orange reminding me that I get 100% bonus calls on weekends if I recharge my account with 70 lei or more before December 20.

I come home to fresh pot of borș, which is large enough to last for my next three or four lunches. I put my bag away and sit down to lunch. My host dad walks back and forth between the kitchen and the backyard working on some project. Every time he passes, he is mumbling something in Russian.

I finish my lunch and head upstairs to start working. I sit down on my bed and spread out all my plans and textbooks. I open my laptop to pull up my lesson plans for tomorrow. I reread through my plans and begin making all the necessary material.

I work for about an hour, and then I notice that it is 3:30 and realize that if I want to go for a walk, I should leave now, before it gets dark. I head downstairs, all bundled up for my walk. I pass my host mom, and she asks me if I’m going for a walk. I tell her I am, and she laughs before telling me goodbye. I don’t know what is funny, and I head out the door without knowing.

I begin walking through my village, taking time to people watch. I really love walking through my village. I get to just observe Moldova. And I am able to remember why I’m here. Just as I begin to get lost in my thoughts, a man stops to talk to me. He speaks to me very quickly, and I can’t really understand. I did hear the words “work” and “police”, so I conclude that he works at the police station. I smile and try to converse before he continues on his way. I keep walking lost in thought most of the time, being distracted only every once in a while by scary dogs or the smell of burning trash.

I get home and sit down to work again. After 15 minutes, I remember that I have get ready to meet with some of my 10th form students I’m tutoring. I grab my tutoring material and leave for their house. The girls are waiting for me when I reach their house. We sit down and read “A Christmas Carol” together. I notice how much more quickly the girls are able to read through the book and how well the girls are understanding the text. It’s nice to see improvement in my students. I don’t always get to see this as well in the classrooms.

When we finish our lesson, we chat for a little bit, getting to know each other better before I leave for my house. I get home, and my host parents have already eaten. So I start to make myself dinner. I heat up a plate of leftover sărmale. I think about how I should have some starch with my meal, so I slice myself a piece of bread. When I finish my meal, I think about how the stuffing of sărmale is meat and RICE. I laugh at myself for thinking I needed bread. One of the many ways Moldova has rubbed off on me.

I clean my dishes and head up stairs to finish my planning. I have to plan for three lessons, finish preparing for two lessons the next day, and type up two lesson plans. I begin working, only occasionally getting distracted by the internet. Every once in a while I start to question if I’m working too hard or if my work will be done in vain since many things I make or plan don’t happen. But I try to reflect on the positive influences I have made so far, even though they are small. It’s just enough to motivate me to finish my work.

Once I finish my planning, it’s 9:00, which means I need to decide whether or not I need a shower. My hair doesn’t look too greasy, and I don’t smell too bad yet, so I decide the shower can wait another day. I start to get ready for bed before starting to type a blog for my website.

As I sit down and reflect on my day, I think about how plain it can seem. It’s not really what is often pictured when people think of volunteers in the Peace Corps. I don’t have this grand adventure everyday. I don't wake up worried about what poisonous insects might have crawled into my shoes. In fact, when it comes to necessities, my life is not much more difficult than my life in America. And yet, this has definitely been the toughest job I have ever had. I have to integrate into a new culture. I have to deal with requirements or expectations everyday that can be quite annoying. I am constantly challenged with obstacles that require me to be flexible or patient in ways I’m not used to. I have to push myself outside my comfort-zone all the time. But when I think about all of these challenges, I also know how much I have grown and matured while learning how to deal with these difficulties. I wonder…who is really getting the help, Moldova or me?

Developing A Routine

Well, I just finished the first week at school that I think represents a “regular” week. I met with all my partner teachers at the times we had scheduled. The class schedule hasn’t changed in 2 weeks, and I taught all the classes I was expecting to teach at the time I was expecting to teach them. I could predict when the bell would ring. It was nice feeling like I knew what was going on. Although, I’m not sure if calling this week “regular” is completely accurate. It seems that many things can cause the schedule to change. So it may be that a “regular” week is anything but.

If you can’t tell from my lack of blog in the last 10 days, this week has been quite a lot of work. I am introducing to my partner teachers lots of new activities and interactive games for teaching English. And since I understand the activity (as I’m the one showing them), I need to make the materials. So, I have a lot of materials to make. After my partners learn how the activities work and the materials needed for them, they will be able to make more things. Last weekend was entirely taken up with making materials for this past week. I would not have had time throughout the week to make everything and get sleep.

Sometimes it is difficult to encourage myself to make the material. My partners sometimes change the plan (not all of them write the plan down when we are planning together). Sometimes there was a misunderstanding of how an activity will be done. Sometimes there is a misjudgment of time. And there are many other reasons for a planned activity to not happen. So it can be difficult to be motivated to spend so much time on creating quality materials, especially for activities planned at the end of the lesson, since those tend to be the ones less likely to happen.

However, the reaction of the students when they get to participate in these new kinds of activities more than make up for the time spent prepping for the activities that don’t always happen. I really love seeing the students’ reactions. At the beginning of the lessons, they will see me preparing the materials and ask me (speaking Romanian at a rapid speed, of course) what the stuff is and what we will be doing with it. And then they are very excited to participate in the activities. And I remember why I’m a teacher. It’s a good feeling.

Trying To Stop A Stampede

During school today I was engulfed in this feeling of overwhelmingness (I know it’s not a word, but you understand). One of the classes was taking a beginning-of-the-year test, and I could barely contain myself as every student cheats during the test. In addition to whispering to each other the whole time, they were passing notes and using their textbooks. Furthermore, they were looking at each other’s paper, and not discreetly either. One student was standing up to look at the paper on the desk in front of him.

At first, I was continuously reminding the students to work alone and not talk, but my partner teacher ignored most actions. Since the students weren’t discreet about getting the answers from their classmates, I’m guessing consequences for cheating are not enforced, or even in existence. My partner would say something every once in awhile, but the amount of cheating was so much that I couldn’t stop it all on my own, not to mention the students couldn’t always understand me.

That wasn’t the only source of my feeling of being overwhelmed. The grades of the students are kept in one book, the catalog. The teachers are supposed to take the catalog to the next teacher, and the students shouldn’t be carrying it to eliminate changing grades and accidents. Well, not only do I constantly see the students carrying the catalog, but today a group of girls were standing in the middle of the hall looking through the catalog. During my time here, I’m hoping to remind the teachers that the students shouldn’t be carrying the catalog.

Add on the teaching techniques and pedagogies I’m hoping to teach my partners, as well as better English skills, and I think you understand where that feeling of ‘overwhelmingness’ I’m feeling is coming from. Plus I’m hoping to inspire change, not just say ‘this is how to do it.’ The amount of positive change I hoping to inspire sometimes feels like too much, especially since a lot of the change is required by so many. Teaching the students not to cheat on tests and quizzes is not just teaching the students to do their own work, but also teaching the teacher to enforce consequences. What's more, I want to teach the teachers how to come up with motivating and effective activities, not just come up with the ideas on my own.

I had a dream last night that I was witnessing an elaborate robbery of a department store. There were many robbers with guns spread throughout the store. One of the robbers was a 13-year-old boy standing near me. I went to him to talk him out of this decision, knowing very well that there were still many more robbers with guns throughout the store and many customers were still in danger, and perhaps changing the mind of this one boy wouldn’t do much to help. I was getting close to inspiring the boy to put his gun away when another child came to me telling me how there are other people are in danger and I need to go and save them. I turned to the child and yelled, “I’m not superman! I can’t save everyone.” And at this point, I woke up.

Now I don’t need a degree in psychology to guess what my dream is saying. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not only supposed to stop a stampede with only myself, but I also have to turn it in a different direction. That’s a big job. But I’m hoping to take on one or two horse at a time, and hopefully it will eventually lead to the change of direction for the whole herd. I just hope I don’t get trampled on in the process.

Inconsistence In A Control-Freak’s World

Over the past couple days, I feel like I have gotten a real taste of Moldovan schools. The schedules aren’t set yet; there are still daily changes. Originally, I was scheduled to teach two 5th grades, two 6th grades, one 7th grade, two 8th grades, and two 9th grade classes. And this was split up so that I teach two classes with three of my partners and 3 classes with one of my partners.

Well, this plan has changed. I kind of guessed it would seeing as it would be difficult to schedule all of the classes without any coinciding since I’m teaching with different teachers, which turned out to happen. Which classes I will be team-teaching have changed four times over the last three days. But I’m hopeful the changes have stopped, because none of those changes were today. After several changes, my classes (right now) are mostly the same; I’m not teaching 9th grade classes anymore, but instead teaching one regular 10th grade class and a 10th grade class for students who are just beginning English. I’m kind of excited about both.

Also, there is miscommunication between the teachers and students. Monday afternoon I was meeting with Svetlana during our free period. Then about half way through the period, an 8th grade class came into the classroom. Apparently, they were told to go to one class, but they were scheduled to be with Svetlana. They didn’t have their textbooks or anything since they thought they didn’t have English lessons that day. This was not one of the classes I'm schedule to teach with, so I was going to leave to continue planning, but Svetlana started a question-and-answer forum about America. Once again, a performance was requested. But this time, they asked me to perform a traditional American dance. Needless to say, I didn’t. Mostly cause I don’t know one. But also because the only dance I could think of was the Macarena.

And then today, one of the teachers was absent. And when a teacher is absent, they can’t always find sub, so the students are added to other classes. So today, the 7th grade class was twice as big because there was another group of students who we don’t usually teach. It kind of made the class feel more like babysitting than teaching. We tried to continue as if the additional students had been part of the class the whole time. But they haven’t, so they just kind of sat there, bored and not really included.

In addition to constant schedule changing, my partners and I haven’t really gotten into the flow of working together yet. Yesterday, in one of the classes I was observing, my partner teacher wasn’t present when the bell rang. After about 3-4 minutes, the students were getting restless, and I thought I would just start a lesson, even though I had no plans nor did I know where the students were in their lessons. So I just started going over the homework. My partner showed up 10 minutes after the bell had rung, and I had just finished checking the homework with the students. Then she sat down, started working though some paperwork, and left me to teach the class…that I had no plans for…and the students spoke very little English. If she wants to observe me teaching, I would like to know in advance. But she wasn’t even observing; she was getting some work done for administration or something. Not exactly what I’m here for. I really wasn’t happy with this, but as long as it was just this one time, I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. If it happens again, I’ll speak with her.

It can be kind of frustrating sometimes, but most of the frustrating things are things that will pass quickly. Or they are things I might be able to help change for the better. I’ll get the hang of things, and the frustrations will lessen. Regardless, handling this instability is really helping me develop my ability to be flexible and think on the spot. Yea for another growth opportunity.

New Kind Of Control

This week, the scheduling of classes is not regular. I don’t know what classes I will be working with until the end of the day before. Originally, I was hoping to start team-teaching right away with my partner teachers. However, with the craziness of the schedule, it is difficult to meet to plan with my partners. So this week, I’m mostly observing (with an occasional singing performance).

Even though observing for the first week wasn’t exactly what I was planning, I can see that it will be beneficial. It gives me a chance to learn the teaching styles of each of my partner teachers so that I can cooperate better with each of them. I can pick out the strengths of my partners and come up with ideas for improvement. Also, I can see the flow of things better without interfering much.

One thing that sticks out in my mind when observing my partners is the difference in control. Every teacher has some kind of control in their classroom, some more than others. And what is controlled in the classroom is obviously going to be different, and it will depend on what the teacher wants in his/her classroom. But something I noticed is my partners like control over how the students hold themselves. For example, when one of the students was standing to talk with a hand in his pocket, one of my partners told him not to talk with his hand in his pocket. Another time, one of the students was leaning over her notebook as she was writing, and another one of my partners told her to sit straight and turn her head differently when writing.

At first, I thought perhaps it was just the preference of one of my partners. But I noticed several of my partners correcting such behavior, which makes me wonder if it’s a cultural thing. I’m usually apathetic and don’t notice such physical appearances. I hope my apathy towards the students’ physical mannerism won’t cause stress in the classroom with my partners. Furthermore, I hope my unawareness won’t be misread as disrespect. I wonder how long before I start thinking like a Moldovan.