Manners And Courtesy

When living in another country, it is very easy to notice the manners that are expected in America that are not practiced here. For example, there is no recognition to waiting in lines. I can’t tell you how many times I will be waiting for to speak with sales representative in a shop and another customer comes in and pushes him/herself in front of me without recognizing that I had been there first.

Along those lines, there seems to be little awareness of those around you in general. In addition to not noticing if someone was waiting before you, I have noticed people often stopping in the middle of traffic to do something personal, such as chat with a friend, and it clearly interrupts the flow.

And there is a general lacks customer service. Most of the time, I am helped without any kind of pleasantries. It is not expected to give waiters and waitresses tips, and you can see the difference in how they interact with the customers. Most of the time, you only seen the waiter/waitress three times: when they bring the menu, when they take your order, and when they bring your food.

Cell phones are a priority. No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, if you receive a call on your cell phone, you answer it. My partner teachers often answer their phones in the middle of class, no mater what we are doing. And when people answer their phones, they don’t leave the room. They just have the conversation there. When one doesn’t answer his or her phone, it is thought that something is wrong.

After a while, I have started to notice some different manners that are practiced here that are not always practiced in America. When celebrating or honoring someone at a party, everyone must give a toast to that person sometime throughout the night. And when you give a toast, you should clink your glass with everyone (for the much larger celebrations, clink your glass with everyone within reach). And when you clink glasses with someone, you should look them in the eye.

Also, you should be much more formal with those of authority. You should address your superior with the formal “you” and just generally addressing them very professional as opposed to casually. Students must show respect to teachers; teachers must show respect to the directors; directors must show respect to members of the Ministry of Education.

The hardest thing for me with understanding the manners that are and are not practiced in Moldova is that they are simply different. Moldovans are not rude for answering their cell phones in the middle of class if it is what is practiced here. It has been very difficult for me to not view these practices or lack of practices as rude. And while I still get annoyed sometimes, I am working hard to look at these situations from the view point of Moldovans. I’m also trying to understand these practices or lack of practices as simple different, not necessarily right and wrong or rude and polite. It’s just simply different. And it makes me wonder what I’m doing or not doing that is viewed as rude.

Moldova in a Nutshell

While visiting American this summer, I had to explain a lot about Moldova and how different or similar it is to America. So once I was back here, I really reflected on how I would describe Moldova in a nutshell.

The best way to describe Moldova is that it’s like the 80s with internet. Many of their practices and beliefs are similar those of the USA in the 80s, but you can see everyone with mostly current technology. The people are not particularly outgoingly friendly; however, once you have befriended them, they are very loyal to you and proud of you. Also, beauty and appearance is stressed, often to the expense of quality. And this is probably due to the fact that they don’t have the money to spend on quality items, so they make everything look as good as possible.

Superstitions

One cool thing about living in a different culture versus just visiting is that I have learned several superstitions. And while some Moldovans recognize them as superstitions, most still believe they are real. I have been told more than once to stop an action because of the superstition behind it.

The most common superstition you will come across in Moldova is eliminating the current. “The current” is the wind created inside a building or car. For example, the current is created in a car when the windows are open. Or the current is created indoors when you open a window and door of the same room. Many Moldovans believe that the current is very unhealthy and causes illness. As a result, windows are often closed in rutiera or bus rides and the windows and doors are closed in the classrooms. This makes for very unpleasant temperatures in the summer months.

Here are a few more superstitions: Don’t whistling inside because you will whistle your money away. If you lay your bag on the ground, you will lose your money or someone will speak badly about you. Drinking cold water makes your throat sore. When throwing out water from a bucket, don’t leave any water in there or it is bad luck. And the one I’m most frequently reminded about: women shouldn’t sit on concrete because it will freeze their ovaries, even during the summer. It’s kind of cool learning all these different superstitions. Makes me wonder what would stand out as silly superstitions to someone living in America for the first time.

Public Transportation

As I had mentioned before, this summer I am working a lot with the new EE volunteers. The new volunteers are being trained in the same places we were trained last year: in villages outside Chișinău. So this summer, I have been traveling a lot back and forth between Criuleni and Chișinău. Therefore, I have to use the public transportation much more. So let me explain about the public transportation here.

Public transportation is a much-needed service in Moldova. Most Moldovan don’t own a car, even in the very rural places. So for many, this is the only way to get around.

The main type of vehicle used for public transportation is called a rutiera. A rutiera is about the size of a 15-person van, but the seat arrangement is much different. There are usually four-five rows with two seats on the right and one seat on the left and a full row at the back that seats five people.

In addition to the rutieras, some villages and towns have autobuses. I am lucky enough to have both autobuses and rutieras that travel between Criuleni and Chișinău. Every 45 minutes, an autobus leaves from Criuleni or Chișinău for the other, and a rutiera leaves 20 minutes after the bus. It’s nice to have such frequent rides; it makes traveling to and from Chișinău very easy. However, many volunteers live in place that only have one bus or rutiera leaving per day. And other volunteers live in such rural villages that there are no rutiera leaving from there, so they have to hitchhike to the nearest village with public transportation that will take them to Chișinău.

Riding the public transportation is no picnic. Rutieras are often very crowded. The seats are very close to each other, leaving little space for your legs. And the width is small as well, making the allowed space very tight. Additionally, once all the seats are filled, the rutiera continues to pick up passengers, who then have to stand. It can get very crowded very quickly. It is not unusual for the rutieras to be so crowded that when you stand, you do not need to hold a handle to keep you from falling. This is not pleasant in the hot and humid summers. Autobuses are a bit more spacious, but they can still be crowded depending on the hour to the day.

Neither the rutieras nor busses have AC. And many Moldovans believe that the current (the wind created when opening the window of a moving car) is unhealthy, therefore most rides are done with closed windows. So in the hot and humid summers, riding in an overcrowded rutieras or buses with all closed-windows is quite unpleasant. I am very careful about which side of the bus to sit on so that the sun isn’t hitting me most of the time of the trip.

The quality of the driving is quite scary. The drivers take curves very quickly, especially considering most of their passengers are standing. And the stops are often quick and jerky.  Riding them in the winter is even worse because the driving doesn’t change much even though there may be snow and ice on the ground.

And respect of one’s personal space isn’t taken into account on the rides. You cannot have a personal bubble on a rutiera or bus in Moldova. And if you do, you will be crying the whole trip due to others violating it. Here are some things that have happened to me on my rides. A boy was consistently sticking his butt in my face while he was leaning over to kiss his girlfriend. The passenger sitting behind me laying his hands on my headrest in a way that caused me lean forward the whole trip so as not to get slapped in the head with his hands. A passenger putting a half empty bottle of beer on the shelf above me without putting the cap on it, resulting in the beer spilling all over me. And these are just a few incidents.

So traveling via public transportation is no cup of tea, but it is all we have. And luckily, it is relatively inexpensive. I suppose things could be worse.

American Vacation

I just got back to Moldova from a 2-week vacation visiting America. It’s kind of funny to say that I’m took a vacation to America; it makes it more real that America is not my home right now. But visiting home was just what I needed. It was an excellent way to unwind and catch up with my family back home.

As it turns out, visiting home did more than just let me eat all my favorite foods. Here are some of the things I realized while at home.

1. I miss American manners. That’s not to say that Moldovans don’t have manners; they do. It’s just I don’t know/recognize them as well. I’m sure I insult people or people think I’m rude all the time because I don’t practice Moldovan manners correctly. But I really miss American manners, such as waiting in line and holding doors open for each other.

2. I found out that I needed alone time a lot more than I thought. During my time with my family, I often found myself sneaking away to be alone. This was not true before I was living in Moldova. But I guess I’m used to so much alone time that I now get overwhelmed by many people.

3. While it is obvious that I miss the important things in life, such as my friends and family, while I was visiting home, I remembered all the superficial things I miss (washers and driers, American food, my shoes and jewelry). When I’m in Moldova, these things have not been available, so I normally don’t have a difficult time missing them. I thought I would have a much harder time living without these luxuries. But it’s nice to know that when I don’t frequently see all these things, I don’t think about them as much any more.

4. I miss driving. A lot.

5. I actually felt ready to come back to Moldova. It seemed like a good vacation time length. I was not home long enough to get bored or annoyed with anything. And while I was sad to leave the people I love, I was ready to come back to finish what I had started.

6. I am still just as lost about what to do in my future. I was hoping that my trip home would help me make a decision about what to do after this. But no. I don’t know what I want to do after this. However, I did conclude that I do not want to extend my time here for an additional year. My program director had been talking with me about staying an additional year, and I was considering it. But I now know that once I finish my second year, I will be ready for the next step in my life, whatever it may be.

7. And finally, I know that I will finish my final here year just fine. Coming home gave me the drive to push through this last year and the confidence to know I will finish it strong.

Okay, I need to go work off all the weight I gained from trying to fit in all the foods I missed during the last year into 2 weeks.