Beautiful Hearts

When you are in Moldova, you will, without a doubt, hear the word “frumos” every day. “Frumos” means beautiful, and Moldova expects all things to be beautiful. One must dress beautifully, one must speak beautifully, one’s house must be kept beautiful, the table should be set beautifully, the students must write beautifully. Beautiful appearance is a high priority of most Moldovans.

When I first came here, I was bombarded with this word “frumos”. With such a strong stress on beauty, I was beginning to think that this is a very shallow element to prioritize, and I was not sure I would like a place where so much stress is put on appearance. The importance of outer appearance is present in the States as well, but I guess it didn’t bother me as much because there is also a huge push for not caring about what is on the outside.

I soon came to learn that acting and being beautiful is not due to vanity, but rather out of respect for others. One should dress beautifully because you respect those you work with so much that you take time to look well for them. Students must speak beautiful to show respect for the teacher’s work. Learning this made it easier to tolerate frumosness.

Since then, I have come to more than tolerate frumosness, but appreciate it. Moldovans are not stressing outer beauty, but rather complete beauty. Ever since I have been here, Moldovans have wanted to help me be comfortable. They are very friendly and kind to me, and they don’t judge me harshly for my foreign understanding of things.

And this week, many of my acquaintances complimented me unnecessarily. A student randomly told me she liked me, and a couple staff members at school randomly told me the other day that the school staff likes and respects me. And then today when I was explaining the word “foreigner” to the students, I said that I was a foreigner. My partner teacher said that, to them, I was not a foreigner, I was a friend. Moldovans are constantly showing me kindness, and I’m falling in love with their beautiful hearts.

The Family Clown

I think my host father thinks I’m some kind of clown. He is always laughing at me, and I can’t figure out why. I’m used to being laughed at in America, but I always know why; I said something without thinking or was clumsy or something like that. But I never really know with my host father. Last night, we were drinking together and he would point to my sweatshirt and laugh. And then today, when I was leaving to go for a walk, he saw me all bundled up to go outside and laughed again. Sometimes, just randomly, he will look at me and laugh. My only response is usually just shrugging my shoulders. Oh well, I guess I’m just meant to be someone who people from all cultures laugh at.


And I was looking through some of pictures from last night and found a group of pictures of Roman and me talking together. These pretty much describe our conversations perfectly.

I Can’t Even Say Their Names Right

So today, I messed up on 2 of my students’ names. I didn’t have their names wrong; I just don’t say them correctly. I don’t usually say someone’s name unless I’m sure what it is and I have never been corrected before, so this did come as a little surprise. And sadly, when one of my students was telling me how I say “Maxim” correctly, I heard no difference between what she said and what I say. And apparently the way I say “Nicu” is so funny, that Nicu couldn’t read the text when I called on him because he was laughing so hard, along with the rest of the class. I asked my partner teacher how I’m saying it wrong, and she said that I say it fine. I guess the students just like to have a laugh at the American.

My Stomach Is Singing

One of the goals of English Education volunteers is to help our partner teachers improve their English. And for me, this is one of my biggest goals. My partner teachers can speak English, but it is very poor. Many of our meetings take 3 times as long because my partner doesn’t understand the English.

Part of my partners’ English weaknesses is that they directly translated from Romanian. So even though they are speaking English, the wording is awkward, not quite right, or just not the phrasing we usually use. For example, they say “be attentive” instead of “pay attention”. Another phrase they say is “say me please” instead of “tell me please.” Or “put the students questions ” instead of “ask the students questions.”

I try to correct them, but it can be hard finding the balance of how often to correct them without annoying my partners. I can see some improvement so far, but this can be frustrating sometimes. However, I have found the silver lining. There are some fun phrases I have learned since my partners directly translate sometimes. Telling someone to check their zipper, they say “close the store.” My favorite is “my stomach is singing.” It sounds happier than “growling”.

Lingually Challenged

This summer, I was learning Romanian because the school I will teach at has students who speak Romanian. However, I am living with a family that speaks Russian in their home because Roman only knows Russian. Doamna Parascovia speaks Romanian to me. I found all this out when I visited my host family in June.

So today, I found out a couple more challenges with learning Romanian. Camilla is from Italy, and apparently Doamna Parascovia can speak Italian. So when they are talking to each other, it’s in Italian. Finding this out made me feel a little better because I never understood anything they said to each other. Now I know why. And Roman is from Ukraine, but his family is Polish, so sometimes he uses Polish words. Although I haven’t been told such yet, I’m guessing that Roman will also uses some Ukrainian words since that is where he is from. So the following languages are spoken in my new home: Russian, Italian, Polish, Romanian, and possibly Ukrainian. It’s a good thing I’m teaching English because otherwise, I don’t know if I would recognize the language after two years of living here.

LPI And Assessment Interviews

Today, I had to go into Chisinau to take my LPI (language proficiency interview) and assessment interview. I had my LPI first, and it went better than I thought. I understood everything but 2 things my interviewer asked/told me. Mind you, I didn’t always understand every single word, but I understood the content of the phrases/sentences. It started off with simply asking things about my life: what I was doing in Moldova, where I live, what I did before joining the PC, what I do in my free time, and describe my host family. I tried my best to just use what I know and not try to formulate sentences I was not sure about. I probably sounded like a 2-year-old talking.

I was also given a fictional situation to ask questions about. My situation was that my school will be closed and I need to find out details. And after I asked how long it was closed and why it was closed, I couldn’t think of anything else to ask in English, let alone Romanian. Oh well. I will still need to continue to study Romanian, but I still think I did better than I was expecting. I’ll get the results in a couple weeks.

I also had an assessment interview, where I meet with Nina. It was pretty chill without much pressure. Nina was just checking on me and how I felt. She asked for some feedback for Practice School and technical training. She also suggested that I help with PST next summer. She thought I would be a helpful in PST, which was nice to hear. Overall, I think my interviews were successful.

Emotional Rollercoaster Ride

Overall, I can say with certainty that I have not yet doubted my choice to join the PC. However, that does not mean I have loved every minute of it. I have had my good days and my bad days. I have had my good weeks and my bad weeks. But that’s not really any different than America.

What is different? Each day seems to be an emotional rollercoaster ride. I will start the day thinking how happy I am to be in the PC. But then on my walk to school (40 minutes everyday twice a day of walking by myself, left with only my thoughts can be too much thinking sometimes) I begin to worry about whether or not I can complete my service successfully. Once I’m at school and see Americans in the same boat I am in, my faith grows and their presence gives me that high you get from being around others. Then I struggle with my Romanian and I wonder how can I be an effective volunteer if I can’t talk to the people. And it’s only 10 o’clock in the morning!!

And I’m a pretty positive person. I don’t experience emotional downs too often. So getting them 4 or 5 times a day everyday is difficult. And many times, when I experience one emotional down, another grows from it. For example, today I realized that I was thinking about the faults in others. This is not me. Now I know that everyone is not my best friend. But for the most part, I can get along with anyone if I try. And those who I might not get along with as easily, I put extra effort into getting along with them. And I try to look for the good in others, not the faults. But with the stress that comes with PST, I am mentally worn out. And the good and logic that I usually have are gone. I’m not myself. Then of course, I realize that thinking about the faults in others is not okay, and I am really hard on myself and have doubt in my ability to be here. And then I realize how often I have been complaining about things. And I’m hard on myself once more. Do you see the snowballing happening here? My mental capabilities are not strong enough to handle this well.

When I am starting to think it is too hard or too much or too humid, I frequently tell myself that it will make me a better person as a way to console myself. For example, I might be really tired from staying up really late planning a lesson. I tell myself that I made a better lesson and the students will benefit, and it will make me a better person. I might get frustrated at the difficulty I am having with language. I tell myself that it will teach me patience with students as they learn new things, and it will make me a better person. These “words of comfort” are starting to not be as comforting anymore. I have been thinking about how often I say it to myself and concluded that if every time I say to myself this hardship will make me a better person proves to be true, I’ll be a saint by the end of my service.

My First Conflict

I was on my way from Chisinau to Cojunsa tonight, and I was riding the trolley with Jim and Natasha to the bus stop we needed (we have to take 2 buses to get to Cojusna). While we were riding the trolley, we were talking to each other. After about 5 minutes of talking, a man yelled at me for talking in English and how he didn’t understand. It was clear he was not okay with us talking in English. Needless to say, we were quiet the rest of our trip.

But before we got off the trolley, a Moldovan woman came and talked to us, saying how we shouldn’t believe that all Moldovans are like that and that she was sorry for his behavior. He was a drunk man with stupid ideas. It was comforting to hear this, considering I was not comfortable with being yelled at.

When we got on our next bus to go into Cojusna, we sat close to each other and talked more quietly so as not to attract negative attention again. However, I noticed a man staring at me for a good 10 minutes. In Moldova, staring seems to be a bit more accepted. People don’t look away necessarily if you catch their eye. Even knowing this fact, it still makes me uncomfortable. And I was afraid a similar incident was about to take place once more.

He eventually began talking to us (in Romanian), and asked where we were from and what we were doing. We explained we were from American and working with the Peace Corps. He immediately smiled and wanted to know more (although we couldn’t understand him most of the time). He was also intrigued by Jim’s beard, saying it was European or Italian, I couldn’t tell which he was saying.

It was interesting to have both incidents happening almost simultaneously. The first event was unnerving, but since both a Moldovan woman apologized for his behavior and another Moldovan man was friendly and interested in us because we were Americans, it made things seem better.

And it reminded me of how there are people in America who feel that those who live in America should speak English. Now, I didn’t agree with this before, but being on the other side now, I can empathize better with those who speak another language in America. Besides, some people with prejudices should not reflect a people as a whole. It was comforting having those kind Moldovans remind me of that.

I Am A Wet Sponge

So I think it’s starting to get to the point where the amount of work put on us is starting to get to us. The amount of information thrown at us each day can be a little overwhelming sometimes. Every time more information is given to me, I feel like I lose some piece of information I learned before.

Yesterday, I noticed a couple trainees getting annoyed with small things that would not normally bother them (or at least, they wouldn’t react to it so much). I felt like I had to really tread carefully yesterday. It was not fun, especially since I already have to pay such close attention to how my actions are read by Moldovans. I don’t like having to change my behavior because a couple people are in bad moods. But seeing as I have had my harder days, I can understand how they might feel. Besides, we are a team. We need to be able to lean on each other, and I will need extra patience from them on my harder days.

Having 4 hours of language class is proving difficult. My LTIs are incredible, and they have a great amount of patience with us (particularly with me and my terrible Romanian). Whenever I mess up (which is a lot), they seem to blame themselves when it is not their fault at all. I probably should explain to them how often I mess up with the English language!

Some of my Romanian mess-ups:
I was trying to conjugate the verb “can” to say “he can” and ended up saying “he smells.”
I wanted to say “I worked in a school” but ended up saying “I lived in a school.”
And my favorite, I was trying to say “In 2010, I decided to join the Peace Corps” but I ended up saying “in 2010, I died.”

All You Need To Know Is “Noroc!”

Ahh, Sundays. The day of rest. It’s nice to have the day off today. I was able to get all of my unpacking done finally, and finish setting up my phone. I discovered a flashlight on the phone, which will be useful on midnight runs to the outhouse. The best part was the sleeping in.

Some members from my training group and I walked around Cojusna for a little bit. It really is a beautiful village. I was able to get lots of pictures.

This afternoon, my host family invited me to their weekly picnic that they have with their friends. And even though I didn’t understand anything that was being said, I really enjoyed the cultural experience. The women and men stayed separated except during dinner. But even then, the men sat on one side of the table and the women on the other. There was lots of pointing towards me and lots of comments directed at me. I think they continually forgot that I don't speak Romanian, because once they remembered, they yelled for Diana. And they were very proud of me when I said “Noroc” as a cheer (“cheers” in Romanian).

And I have experienced something new while there. The PC has warned us about how Moldovans try to be good hosts by making sure plates and glasses are full. They mentioned how the host often fills the glasses without asking. I had not experienced this with my family; they are very understanding when I say “I’m full” or “No thank you”. However, whenever my glass was empty or not completely full, it was filled. Moldovans drink their wine in shots, so even though I had 7 glasses of wine, it’s not as much as it seems. But I’m glad this is not a daily feeling.

This picnic is apparently a weekly thing. Since it was such an enjoyable time without understanding anything, I can only imagine how much I would enjoy it if I knew more Moldovan. Motivation for studying!

Day 2 Moldova (aka Sarah’s Birthday, Which I Had To Miss And Had No Way Yet To Communicate To Her That I Was Thinking About Her)

Today begins training! Woot! It started with going into Chisinau by public transportation, and meeting at the Peace Corps headquarters. From there, our PCT mentors walked us around Chisinau. They showed us the piazza, where I could find anything I would want (mostly) to buy. We continued to walk around seeing various town sights before returning to the PC headquarters for a lunch with all the trainees, PCV, and PC staff. For the afternoon, we were introduced to Moldova and a little about how our finances work.

Between breaks, I was able to bond with Andrea over some of our anxieties. After talking with members of my training group, I was a little more nervous about things. Many of them speak another language and have study or traveled to other countries. And they were catching on to Romanian fairly quickly after only one night with their families, while I was still trying to figure out how to plug my electronics in. It’s unpleasant feeling like I still need to ask the questions everyone else already knows the answers to and needing to hear new words many times before remembering them, not just once from my host family. Andrea was feeling the same way I was, and it’s nice to not be alone in this feeling.

Afterwards, we had our first language lesson. The focus: the Romanian alphabet. We also practiced a few phrases to communicate with our host families. We were also given some of our immunizations.

When we returned to our village, Holly’s host mom was not home, so my host family invited her over to wait. Holly and I hung out on the families “deck” and related our anxieties (are you beginning to see a pattern in my conversations?). I told her how I wish I had more language experience like her so that learning Romanian would be easier. She told me of her anxieties of teaching since she had never taught before. Overall though, we both know we are going to enjoy our time here and look forward to what’s to come.

I met Daniel today. He speaks English as well as Diana. I enjoy hearing Diana and Daniel converse. It reminds me of my siblings. And it’s amusing hearing them consistently yelling to each other to help find the English word they are looking for.

After today, some worries have disappeared and many have developed. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my anxieties, and I have people to relate them to.