Manners And Courtesy

When living in another country, it is very easy to notice the manners that are expected in America that are not practiced here. For example, there is no recognition to waiting in lines. I can’t tell you how many times I will be waiting for to speak with sales representative in a shop and another customer comes in and pushes him/herself in front of me without recognizing that I had been there first.

Along those lines, there seems to be little awareness of those around you in general. In addition to not noticing if someone was waiting before you, I have noticed people often stopping in the middle of traffic to do something personal, such as chat with a friend, and it clearly interrupts the flow.

And there is a general lacks customer service. Most of the time, I am helped without any kind of pleasantries. It is not expected to give waiters and waitresses tips, and you can see the difference in how they interact with the customers. Most of the time, you only seen the waiter/waitress three times: when they bring the menu, when they take your order, and when they bring your food.

Cell phones are a priority. No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, if you receive a call on your cell phone, you answer it. My partner teachers often answer their phones in the middle of class, no mater what we are doing. And when people answer their phones, they don’t leave the room. They just have the conversation there. When one doesn’t answer his or her phone, it is thought that something is wrong.

After a while, I have started to notice some different manners that are practiced here that are not always practiced in America. When celebrating or honoring someone at a party, everyone must give a toast to that person sometime throughout the night. And when you give a toast, you should clink your glass with everyone (for the much larger celebrations, clink your glass with everyone within reach). And when you clink glasses with someone, you should look them in the eye.

Also, you should be much more formal with those of authority. You should address your superior with the formal “you” and just generally addressing them very professional as opposed to casually. Students must show respect to teachers; teachers must show respect to the directors; directors must show respect to members of the Ministry of Education.

The hardest thing for me with understanding the manners that are and are not practiced in Moldova is that they are simply different. Moldovans are not rude for answering their cell phones in the middle of class if it is what is practiced here. It has been very difficult for me to not view these practices or lack of practices as rude. And while I still get annoyed sometimes, I am working hard to look at these situations from the view point of Moldovans. I’m also trying to understand these practices or lack of practices as simple different, not necessarily right and wrong or rude and polite. It’s just simply different. And it makes me wonder what I’m doing or not doing that is viewed as rude.