Trying To Stop A Stampede

During school today I was engulfed in this feeling of overwhelmingness (I know it’s not a word, but you understand). One of the classes was taking a beginning-of-the-year test, and I could barely contain myself as every student cheats during the test. In addition to whispering to each other the whole time, they were passing notes and using their textbooks. Furthermore, they were looking at each other’s paper, and not discreetly either. One student was standing up to look at the paper on the desk in front of him.

At first, I was continuously reminding the students to work alone and not talk, but my partner teacher ignored most actions. Since the students weren’t discreet about getting the answers from their classmates, I’m guessing consequences for cheating are not enforced, or even in existence. My partner would say something every once in awhile, but the amount of cheating was so much that I couldn’t stop it all on my own, not to mention the students couldn’t always understand me.

That wasn’t the only source of my feeling of being overwhelmed. The grades of the students are kept in one book, the catalog. The teachers are supposed to take the catalog to the next teacher, and the students shouldn’t be carrying it to eliminate changing grades and accidents. Well, not only do I constantly see the students carrying the catalog, but today a group of girls were standing in the middle of the hall looking through the catalog. During my time here, I’m hoping to remind the teachers that the students shouldn’t be carrying the catalog.

Add on the teaching techniques and pedagogies I’m hoping to teach my partners, as well as better English skills, and I think you understand where that feeling of ‘overwhelmingness’ I’m feeling is coming from. Plus I’m hoping to inspire change, not just say ‘this is how to do it.’ The amount of positive change I hoping to inspire sometimes feels like too much, especially since a lot of the change is required by so many. Teaching the students not to cheat on tests and quizzes is not just teaching the students to do their own work, but also teaching the teacher to enforce consequences. What's more, I want to teach the teachers how to come up with motivating and effective activities, not just come up with the ideas on my own.

I had a dream last night that I was witnessing an elaborate robbery of a department store. There were many robbers with guns spread throughout the store. One of the robbers was a 13-year-old boy standing near me. I went to him to talk him out of this decision, knowing very well that there were still many more robbers with guns throughout the store and many customers were still in danger, and perhaps changing the mind of this one boy wouldn’t do much to help. I was getting close to inspiring the boy to put his gun away when another child came to me telling me how there are other people are in danger and I need to go and save them. I turned to the child and yelled, “I’m not superman! I can’t save everyone.” And at this point, I woke up.

Now I don’t need a degree in psychology to guess what my dream is saying. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not only supposed to stop a stampede with only myself, but I also have to turn it in a different direction. That’s a big job. But I’m hoping to take on one or two horse at a time, and hopefully it will eventually lead to the change of direction for the whole herd. I just hope I don’t get trampled on in the process.