Today I realized how out of my element I am. In the last week, I have lost 2 things. I never lose things…at least not important things. I’m very organized, and I always know where the need-to-know items are. But lately, I have had so many more things on my mind than I ever had when I was in America. This is going to take some time learning how to rebalance my life. Hopefully I can figure it out without losing anything else.
So I can’t find my keys. I first discovered this at school today. I wasn’t too worried because someone is always home when I get home from school. But since I didn’t have my keys, of course no one was home when I got home to the locked house. I have thought I’ve been locked out before when I actually wasn’t, so I walked around the house and double-checked that all the doors were actually locked. They were.
I sat down for a bit, hoping my host mom or dad would show up right then. They didn’t. After 5 minutes of no one coming home, I walked around to the window closest to the ground, which is not actually at the ground level; the bottom of the window is about 6 feet off from the ground. I was feeling torn as to whether I wanted to find it open. If it was open, I would be glad that I got to go inside because I was really hungry. But also if it was open, it probably wouldn’t be too hard for someone else to find a way to get into the house. Well, it was open. So I went and found a ladder and climbed into the house.
As I was climbing into the house, there were 2 things I was thinking about. One, I thought about how I hope I don’t fall and break my neck while climbing into the house. And two, I hope the neighbors don’t call the police to report me, seeing as I really don’t having the best language skills right now. But I made in, without police or breaking my neck. Climbing through windows is not my thing. I need to find my keys.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Inconsistence In A Control-Freak’s World
Over the past couple days, I feel like I have gotten a real taste of Moldovan schools. The schedules aren’t set yet; there are still daily changes. Originally, I was scheduled to teach two 5th grades, two 6th grades, one 7th grade, two 8th grades, and two 9th grade classes. And this was split up so that I teach two classes with three of my partners and 3 classes with one of my partners.
Well, this plan has changed. I kind of guessed it would seeing as it would be difficult to schedule all of the classes without any coinciding since I’m teaching with different teachers, which turned out to happen. Which classes I will be team-teaching have changed four times over the last three days. But I’m hopeful the changes have stopped, because none of those changes were today. After several changes, my classes (right now) are mostly the same; I’m not teaching 9th grade classes anymore, but instead teaching one regular 10th grade class and a 10th grade class for students who are just beginning English. I’m kind of excited about both.
Also, there is miscommunication between the teachers and students. Monday afternoon I was meeting with Svetlana during our free period. Then about half way through the period, an 8th grade class came into the classroom. Apparently, they were told to go to one class, but they were scheduled to be with Svetlana. They didn’t have their textbooks or anything since they thought they didn’t have English lessons that day. This was not one of the classes I'm schedule to teach with, so I was going to leave to continue planning, but Svetlana started a question-and-answer forum about America. Once again, a performance was requested. But this time, they asked me to perform a traditional American dance. Needless to say, I didn’t. Mostly cause I don’t know one. But also because the only dance I could think of was the Macarena.
And then today, one of the teachers was absent. And when a teacher is absent, they can’t always find sub, so the students are added to other classes. So today, the 7th grade class was twice as big because there was another group of students who we don’t usually teach. It kind of made the class feel more like babysitting than teaching. We tried to continue as if the additional students had been part of the class the whole time. But they haven’t, so they just kind of sat there, bored and not really included.
In addition to constant schedule changing, my partners and I haven’t really gotten into the flow of working together yet. Yesterday, in one of the classes I was observing, my partner teacher wasn’t present when the bell rang. After about 3-4 minutes, the students were getting restless, and I thought I would just start a lesson, even though I had no plans nor did I know where the students were in their lessons. So I just started going over the homework. My partner showed up 10 minutes after the bell had rung, and I had just finished checking the homework with the students. Then she sat down, started working though some paperwork, and left me to teach the class…that I had no plans for…and the students spoke very little English. If she wants to observe me teaching, I would like to know in advance. But she wasn’t even observing; she was getting some work done for administration or something. Not exactly what I’m here for. I really wasn’t happy with this, but as long as it was just this one time, I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. If it happens again, I’ll speak with her.
It can be kind of frustrating sometimes, but most of the frustrating things are things that will pass quickly. Or they are things I might be able to help change for the better. I’ll get the hang of things, and the frustrations will lessen. Regardless, handling this instability is really helping me develop my ability to be flexible and think on the spot. Yea for another growth opportunity.
Well, this plan has changed. I kind of guessed it would seeing as it would be difficult to schedule all of the classes without any coinciding since I’m teaching with different teachers, which turned out to happen. Which classes I will be team-teaching have changed four times over the last three days. But I’m hopeful the changes have stopped, because none of those changes were today. After several changes, my classes (right now) are mostly the same; I’m not teaching 9th grade classes anymore, but instead teaching one regular 10th grade class and a 10th grade class for students who are just beginning English. I’m kind of excited about both.
Also, there is miscommunication between the teachers and students. Monday afternoon I was meeting with Svetlana during our free period. Then about half way through the period, an 8th grade class came into the classroom. Apparently, they were told to go to one class, but they were scheduled to be with Svetlana. They didn’t have their textbooks or anything since they thought they didn’t have English lessons that day. This was not one of the classes I'm schedule to teach with, so I was going to leave to continue planning, but Svetlana started a question-and-answer forum about America. Once again, a performance was requested. But this time, they asked me to perform a traditional American dance. Needless to say, I didn’t. Mostly cause I don’t know one. But also because the only dance I could think of was the Macarena.
And then today, one of the teachers was absent. And when a teacher is absent, they can’t always find sub, so the students are added to other classes. So today, the 7th grade class was twice as big because there was another group of students who we don’t usually teach. It kind of made the class feel more like babysitting than teaching. We tried to continue as if the additional students had been part of the class the whole time. But they haven’t, so they just kind of sat there, bored and not really included.
In addition to constant schedule changing, my partners and I haven’t really gotten into the flow of working together yet. Yesterday, in one of the classes I was observing, my partner teacher wasn’t present when the bell rang. After about 3-4 minutes, the students were getting restless, and I thought I would just start a lesson, even though I had no plans nor did I know where the students were in their lessons. So I just started going over the homework. My partner showed up 10 minutes after the bell had rung, and I had just finished checking the homework with the students. Then she sat down, started working though some paperwork, and left me to teach the class…that I had no plans for…and the students spoke very little English. If she wants to observe me teaching, I would like to know in advance. But she wasn’t even observing; she was getting some work done for administration or something. Not exactly what I’m here for. I really wasn’t happy with this, but as long as it was just this one time, I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. If it happens again, I’ll speak with her.
It can be kind of frustrating sometimes, but most of the frustrating things are things that will pass quickly. Or they are things I might be able to help change for the better. I’ll get the hang of things, and the frustrations will lessen. Regardless, handling this instability is really helping me develop my ability to be flexible and think on the spot. Yea for another growth opportunity.
Friday, September 9, 2011
If You Want To Make God Laugh, Make A Plan
With all the time I have to myself, I do a lot of thinking and reflecting. Sometimes it’s hard, and it can feel lonely. But I have come up with some things that I enjoy thinking about. And today I was thinking about myself five years ago and what my plans and expectations were for the future.
Five years ago, I was moving into the basement of the Wesley Foundation and starting my junior year of college. My plans for the next five years were to finish undergrad in the next two years and stay at Virginia Tech for another year to get a master’s in education. I was accumulating quite a bit of things, especially for my kitchen, because the next move in my future was going to be to my own apartment. After grad school, I would find that perfect elementary teaching job, preferably at an inner-city school. I would move into my own apartment, pick out the perfect furniture, adopt a dog, and begin that fabulous life as a young, single, independent woman. I would be spending my money wisely, yet still having fun, and I would be saving up to buy my own house within a couple years.
Well, I went to William and Mary for grad school. My first job was teaching math at a middle school. And then I decided to join the Peace Corps, so I quit my job and took sporadic sub jobs and worked at a daycare while waiting to leave the country. And I have yet to have my own apartment.
I like thinking about the future. It’s fun to imagine the different directions life might take me. I think about what I might do after the Peace Corps. Maybe I’ll go back to America and find that elementary teaching job. Or after teaching older students for two years, I will want to teach in a middle or high school. Or perhaps I will want to keep teaching abroad, so perhaps I’ll find a job teaching in China or Kenya or India. I might go back to school to become a professor. Maybe I won’t be teaching at all.
As I sit here and think about my future, I can’t help but reflect on my past self thinking about the future. Five years ago, I didn’t even consider the Peace Corps as something I wanted, and now I can’t imagine being somewhere else. I wonder where life might lead me next. I wonder what plans I’m making now that my future self will look back at and laugh at.
Five years ago, I was moving into the basement of the Wesley Foundation and starting my junior year of college. My plans for the next five years were to finish undergrad in the next two years and stay at Virginia Tech for another year to get a master’s in education. I was accumulating quite a bit of things, especially for my kitchen, because the next move in my future was going to be to my own apartment. After grad school, I would find that perfect elementary teaching job, preferably at an inner-city school. I would move into my own apartment, pick out the perfect furniture, adopt a dog, and begin that fabulous life as a young, single, independent woman. I would be spending my money wisely, yet still having fun, and I would be saving up to buy my own house within a couple years.
Well, I went to William and Mary for grad school. My first job was teaching math at a middle school. And then I decided to join the Peace Corps, so I quit my job and took sporadic sub jobs and worked at a daycare while waiting to leave the country. And I have yet to have my own apartment.
I like thinking about the future. It’s fun to imagine the different directions life might take me. I think about what I might do after the Peace Corps. Maybe I’ll go back to America and find that elementary teaching job. Or after teaching older students for two years, I will want to teach in a middle or high school. Or perhaps I will want to keep teaching abroad, so perhaps I’ll find a job teaching in China or Kenya or India. I might go back to school to become a professor. Maybe I won’t be teaching at all.
As I sit here and think about my future, I can’t help but reflect on my past self thinking about the future. Five years ago, I didn’t even consider the Peace Corps as something I wanted, and now I can’t imagine being somewhere else. I wonder where life might lead me next. I wonder what plans I’m making now that my future self will look back at and laugh at.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
New Kind Of Control
This week, the scheduling of classes is not regular. I don’t know what classes I will be working with until the end of the day before. Originally, I was hoping to start team-teaching right away with my partner teachers. However, with the craziness of the schedule, it is difficult to meet to plan with my partners. So this week, I’m mostly observing (with an occasional singing performance).
Even though observing for the first week wasn’t exactly what I was planning, I can see that it will be beneficial. It gives me a chance to learn the teaching styles of each of my partner teachers so that I can cooperate better with each of them. I can pick out the strengths of my partners and come up with ideas for improvement. Also, I can see the flow of things better without interfering much.
One thing that sticks out in my mind when observing my partners is the difference in control. Every teacher has some kind of control in their classroom, some more than others. And what is controlled in the classroom is obviously going to be different, and it will depend on what the teacher wants in his/her classroom. But something I noticed is my partners like control over how the students hold themselves. For example, when one of the students was standing to talk with a hand in his pocket, one of my partners told him not to talk with his hand in his pocket. Another time, one of the students was leaning over her notebook as she was writing, and another one of my partners told her to sit straight and turn her head differently when writing.
At first, I thought perhaps it was just the preference of one of my partners. But I noticed several of my partners correcting such behavior, which makes me wonder if it’s a cultural thing. I’m usually apathetic and don’t notice such physical appearances. I hope my apathy towards the students’ physical mannerism won’t cause stress in the classroom with my partners. Furthermore, I hope my unawareness won’t be misread as disrespect. I wonder how long before I start thinking like a Moldovan.
Even though observing for the first week wasn’t exactly what I was planning, I can see that it will be beneficial. It gives me a chance to learn the teaching styles of each of my partner teachers so that I can cooperate better with each of them. I can pick out the strengths of my partners and come up with ideas for improvement. Also, I can see the flow of things better without interfering much.
One thing that sticks out in my mind when observing my partners is the difference in control. Every teacher has some kind of control in their classroom, some more than others. And what is controlled in the classroom is obviously going to be different, and it will depend on what the teacher wants in his/her classroom. But something I noticed is my partners like control over how the students hold themselves. For example, when one of the students was standing to talk with a hand in his pocket, one of my partners told him not to talk with his hand in his pocket. Another time, one of the students was leaning over her notebook as she was writing, and another one of my partners told her to sit straight and turn her head differently when writing.
At first, I thought perhaps it was just the preference of one of my partners. But I noticed several of my partners correcting such behavior, which makes me wonder if it’s a cultural thing. I’m usually apathetic and don’t notice such physical appearances. I hope my apathy towards the students’ physical mannerism won’t cause stress in the classroom with my partners. Furthermore, I hope my unawareness won’t be misread as disrespect. I wonder how long before I start thinking like a Moldovan.
Monday, September 5, 2011
The Way You Look Tonight
Today, I met one of the seventh grade classes I might teach this year. And for the first time, after I introduced myself and opened the floor for questions, the students actually asked me questions. They wanted to know about my family and Richmond, where else I have traveled, why I was in Moldova, my favorite sport, etc. It was nice to feel like the students were interested. And I was able to answer some of the questions in Romanian.
The boys thought it was cool that I liked American football, and they wanted me to teach them how to play after school today. Unfortunately, we don’t have a football right now. Then, one of the girls mentioned that she likes to sing. And this somehow led to another student asking me to sing a traditional American song. I was not ready for this, and I couldn’t think of a traditional song on the spot. The only song I could think of that I knew enough lyrics was Frank Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight”, so that what they got. I’ll have to think of a song in case they want to hear more.
I think I’m going to like this class. The students just made me smile. And it was nice to find out something they are interested in learning about: American football and American music. I have to come up with an idea for some project to do outside of school. Maybe I can incorporate these interests somehow…a flag football game with a performance of Yankee Doodle at half time?
The boys thought it was cool that I liked American football, and they wanted me to teach them how to play after school today. Unfortunately, we don’t have a football right now. Then, one of the girls mentioned that she likes to sing. And this somehow led to another student asking me to sing a traditional American song. I was not ready for this, and I couldn’t think of a traditional song on the spot. The only song I could think of that I knew enough lyrics was Frank Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight”, so that what they got. I’ll have to think of a song in case they want to hear more.
I think I’m going to like this class. The students just made me smile. And it was nice to find out something they are interested in learning about: American football and American music. I have to come up with an idea for some project to do outside of school. Maybe I can incorporate these interests somehow…a flag football game with a performance of Yankee Doodle at half time?
Friday, September 2, 2011
Fate?
I do not believe in fate or meant-to-bes, but sometimes when certain events happen just when they do, I can’t help but wonder. Over the last 2 weeks, I have felt as useful as paint on a wall. I have been pretty much doing nothing but sitting around my room. I’ve walked around my new village, hung out with my host family, watched a few movies (okay, maybe more like 2 dozen), organized my photos, and read through my teaching materials. But overall, I have had a lot of time for thinking. And if you remember, too much time thinking can be too much for me and lead to upsetting thoughts, such as asking myself “why am I here?”
When you are serving in the PC, you can’t help but think “why am I here?” It’s inevitable. I was hoping I wouldn’t be thinking about it this early in my service, but I have. I wonder what good can I bring that someone else couldn’t. Can I really make a difference? Will all my hard work be done in vain? Could I make a bigger difference somewhere else? Is teaching English really a worthy cause?
Moldova isn’t perfect, and good can be done here. There are many political problems. The country came from a Soviet Union reign, and you can still see the effects. There are many people who want to work towards a democracy, and there are many who really believed in communism and want to still work towards that. But I can’t help in this area; I lack the knowledge and authority to offer political help. And even if I wanted to, the PC does not allow PCVs to talk about politics, let alone get involved in them.
Then I think about the prejudices that exist here. I could help educate the people. But telling people that what they think of others is wrong is a difficult thing to do. I would need to develop relationships with the people first if I want them to possibly listen to me. And many times, the people believe there is more proof that proves their prejudice correct than supports tolerance. Add the fact I can’t talk above a 2 year-old’s speaking level, and you see my point.
Now I know that teaching is a worth cause, especially if you do it well. I know this. But I’m teaching English. How is that helpful? It feels like those who are learning English are learning it to get out of Moldova, and that’s not helping Moldova develop. Add in the fact that I remember spending so much time planning a lesson with my partner teacher during practice school and feeling like I have only come up with mediocre ideas. I remember how quickly the other trainees had finished their lessons when working with their partners during practice school, finishing easily an hour before me, and they had full confidence in their lessons.
These questions and doubts were bound to cross my mind eventually. And I was worried about the fact that I was thinking about them at the beginning of my 2-year service. But today in class, Svetlana asked me to explain to the students why learning English is important. I looked up some data and numbers to give the students. As I presented the information, the students all stared at me like I was a 3-headed purple giraffe. It didn’t bother me; it will takes some time for the students to get use to me, which is not different in an American classroom.
Even though I think only a few students understood me, I didn’t feel this mini-lesson was done in vain. I felt like I needed to teach this information to myself more than the students. I needed to teach this information right now when I’m wondering why I am teaching English. I needed to give value to what I was teaching. I needed to give value to what I will be doing for the next 2 years. I needed to understand how my work will be useful for Moldovans; how my work will help Moldovans. Although after today, I get the feeling that I will get more from this experience than I will give.
When you are serving in the PC, you can’t help but think “why am I here?” It’s inevitable. I was hoping I wouldn’t be thinking about it this early in my service, but I have. I wonder what good can I bring that someone else couldn’t. Can I really make a difference? Will all my hard work be done in vain? Could I make a bigger difference somewhere else? Is teaching English really a worthy cause?
Moldova isn’t perfect, and good can be done here. There are many political problems. The country came from a Soviet Union reign, and you can still see the effects. There are many people who want to work towards a democracy, and there are many who really believed in communism and want to still work towards that. But I can’t help in this area; I lack the knowledge and authority to offer political help. And even if I wanted to, the PC does not allow PCVs to talk about politics, let alone get involved in them.
Then I think about the prejudices that exist here. I could help educate the people. But telling people that what they think of others is wrong is a difficult thing to do. I would need to develop relationships with the people first if I want them to possibly listen to me. And many times, the people believe there is more proof that proves their prejudice correct than supports tolerance. Add the fact I can’t talk above a 2 year-old’s speaking level, and you see my point.
Now I know that teaching is a worth cause, especially if you do it well. I know this. But I’m teaching English. How is that helpful? It feels like those who are learning English are learning it to get out of Moldova, and that’s not helping Moldova develop. Add in the fact that I remember spending so much time planning a lesson with my partner teacher during practice school and feeling like I have only come up with mediocre ideas. I remember how quickly the other trainees had finished their lessons when working with their partners during practice school, finishing easily an hour before me, and they had full confidence in their lessons.
These questions and doubts were bound to cross my mind eventually. And I was worried about the fact that I was thinking about them at the beginning of my 2-year service. But today in class, Svetlana asked me to explain to the students why learning English is important. I looked up some data and numbers to give the students. As I presented the information, the students all stared at me like I was a 3-headed purple giraffe. It didn’t bother me; it will takes some time for the students to get use to me, which is not different in an American classroom.
Even though I think only a few students understood me, I didn’t feel this mini-lesson was done in vain. I felt like I needed to teach this information to myself more than the students. I needed to teach this information right now when I’m wondering why I am teaching English. I needed to give value to what I was teaching. I needed to give value to what I will be doing for the next 2 years. I needed to understand how my work will be useful for Moldovans; how my work will help Moldovans. Although after today, I get the feeling that I will get more from this experience than I will give.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Back To School, Back To School, To Prove To Dad That I’m Not A Fool
So what is the first day of school like when you have no idea of what to do? For me, I pretty much followed my partner teacher around like a lost puppy trying to figure out where I’m supposed to be at each moment. I got to school around 8, and went to Svetlana’s room. She was not there, so I waited around for a bit in Maria’s room, which is right next-door. Once I met up with Svetlana, we went to the schoolyard for the beginning of the school-year ceremony.
All the students were standing around the stage in semicircle. The fifth grade class was brought to the stage to be presented and welcomed to the school since they are new to the school. After the fifth graders were presented, a student performed a song about the school year, followed by the Moldovan anthem being played.
Doamna Ana then spoke for a little bit welcoming in the new school. Then she introduced me to the school. Doamna Ana asked that I prepare a 2-minute speech (one minute in English and one minute in Romanian) to introduce myself and what the Peace Corps does. First I spoke in English, explaining to the student who I was, where I’m from, and what the PC wants me to do this year. Then I translated it into Romanian. There was a little bit of giggling with my Romanian, but mostly stares in amazement. I don’t think they expected me to know Romanian. And when I finished my speech, the students cheered and presented me with some flowers.
After my speech, the mayor spoke for a little while. Afterwards, two high school students carried two fifth grade students around on their shoulders, while the two fifth graders rung a bell. I think it was some kind of ringing in the new school year. And my favorite part was the last song. One of the students preformed a song about the teachers and the school to the tune of Britney Spears’ “Oops, I Did It Again”.
The rest of the day was in the students’ homeroom class. The homeroom teachers (the diriginte) went over school rules and procedures. I stayed with Svetlana, even though I will not be teaching with those students. Svetlana also presented me, and we gave the students time to ask me questions; they mostly just stared at me.
School ended at about 11, and all the teachers went home…so I did too, not really knowing what to do tomorrow. I have a vague idea of which teachers I will work with tomorrow, and Svetlana asked me to talk to the students about why English is important to learn. Other than that, tomorrow will be another day of not really knowing what’s going on.
All the students were standing around the stage in semicircle. The fifth grade class was brought to the stage to be presented and welcomed to the school since they are new to the school. After the fifth graders were presented, a student performed a song about the school year, followed by the Moldovan anthem being played.
Doamna Ana then spoke for a little bit welcoming in the new school. Then she introduced me to the school. Doamna Ana asked that I prepare a 2-minute speech (one minute in English and one minute in Romanian) to introduce myself and what the Peace Corps does. First I spoke in English, explaining to the student who I was, where I’m from, and what the PC wants me to do this year. Then I translated it into Romanian. There was a little bit of giggling with my Romanian, but mostly stares in amazement. I don’t think they expected me to know Romanian. And when I finished my speech, the students cheered and presented me with some flowers.
After my speech, the mayor spoke for a little while. Afterwards, two high school students carried two fifth grade students around on their shoulders, while the two fifth graders rung a bell. I think it was some kind of ringing in the new school year. And my favorite part was the last song. One of the students preformed a song about the teachers and the school to the tune of Britney Spears’ “Oops, I Did It Again”.
The rest of the day was in the students’ homeroom class. The homeroom teachers (the diriginte) went over school rules and procedures. I stayed with Svetlana, even though I will not be teaching with those students. Svetlana also presented me, and we gave the students time to ask me questions; they mostly just stared at me.
School ended at about 11, and all the teachers went home…so I did too, not really knowing what to do tomorrow. I have a vague idea of which teachers I will work with tomorrow, and Svetlana asked me to talk to the students about why English is important to learn. Other than that, tomorrow will be another day of not really knowing what’s going on.
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