Oye! So many emotions these days. In so many ways, I’m ready to leave Moldova and start the next chapter in my life, and yet I also want to stay. A couple weeks ago, I went to a meeting to plan for this PST summer. I felt so pulled; I wanted to help because I enjoy that, but I also want to have time this summer to enjoy my last month here. I just feel like I’m just one big oxymoron.
I’ve actually realized that I have been a walking pile of contradictions my whole time here. I’ve had to remain strong to get through this difficult service, yet I was fragile. I often cried over something silly, and then later broke out into laughter over something else. So frequently I feel alone, yet there is still this feeling that I need more alone time. I’ve become really self-conscience about my actions, but okay with making a fool of myself.
Finding someone who understands you can be hard. Most PCVs feel similar, but everything (background, knowledge, degrees, experiences, etc.) differs so much between each of us that sometimes how we feel is different as well. Not to mention how different our experiences at site can be.
Learning how to deal with myself has been one of the most difficult things during my service.
I’ve actually realized that I have been a walking pile of contradictions my whole time here. I’ve had to remain strong to get through this difficult service, yet I was fragile. I often cried over something silly, and then later broke out into laughter over something else. So frequently I feel alone, yet there is still this feeling that I need more alone time. I’ve become really self-conscience about my actions, but okay with making a fool of myself.
Finding someone who understands you can be hard. Most PCVs feel similar, but everything (background, knowledge, degrees, experiences, etc.) differs so much between each of us that sometimes how we feel is different as well. Not to mention how different our experiences at site can be.
Learning how to deal with myself has been one of the most difficult things during my service.
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